I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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