After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
home. puking in laundry basket.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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