The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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