my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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