He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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