So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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