He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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