she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
