i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
