If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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