I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize