Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
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