North Korea, Best Korea!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
