I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
