i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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