Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
