Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
