Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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