walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
