Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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