i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just pee around me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Holy sore nipples Batman
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
