My room smells like vodka and shame
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
