): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
