i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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