with your own penis?
I just saw a hot homeless man
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize