btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
