I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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