alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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