Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
