what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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