my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
