if i can run in heels then i can drive
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
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Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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