how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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