that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
birth control should be required to get into college
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
