She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
