You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
