Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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