Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
