so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I will pee on everything he values.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
