Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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