Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
