Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
did i just pee glitter
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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