remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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