after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
