it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
