I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
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