My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
