i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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