Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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