bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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