She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
