I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
