I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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