im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it's like heaven, but drunker
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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