i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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