its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
