Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I love you. Go after that dick
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize