My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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