I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
