i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
