Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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