Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
