I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
