So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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