You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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