You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Will you blow on my dice?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
